Welcome to

Upbuilding the Self

Two former monks, a former startup founder/CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader journey into how we can become free from our egos -  the identities of who we think we should be - in order to become who we really are. This podcast will help you understand your ego and the unconscious motivations, insecurities and emotions that affect your every action and relationship. 

Don’t know where to start? View the Upbuild Podcast guide.

If you are looking for our separate Enneagram Podcast, you can find that here.

the episodes

Click any of the titles below to see the episode page with show notes and key quotes

  1. Introducing: Upbuilding the Self (Apple / Spotify)

  2. If You Think You're Self-Aware, You're Not (Apple / Spotify)

  3. Detangling Self-Worth from Achievement (Apple / Spotify)

  4. The Seduction of Anger (Apple / Spotify)

  5. Imposter Syndrome (Apple / Spotify)

  6. The Antidote to Envy (Apple / Spotify)

  7. Productivity as a Coping Mechanism for Shame (Apple / Spotify)

  8. The Masks We Wear (Apple / Spotify)

  9. The Agitation We Feel from Social Media (Our Unilateral Contracts) (Apple / Spotify)

  10. From Investment Banker to Monk: Finding Your Calling (Apple / Spotify)

  11. Creating Space Between Stimulus and Response (Apple / Spotify)

  12. How Are You: The Deeper Meanings Behind Our Responses (Apple / Spotify)

  13. The Inspiration-Insecurity Continuum (Apple / Spotify)

  14. What Does It Mean to Be a Chameleon (Apple / Spotify)

  15. The Three Sources of Introversion (Apple / Spotify)

  16. Goldman Sachs Bonus Day and the Entitled Ego (Apple / Spotify)

  17. Our Motivations for Charitable Giving (Apple / Spotify)

  18. How to Have Difficult Conversations (Apple / Spotify)

  19. The Ego vs. the Self (Apple / Spotify)

  20. The Trap of Defining My Value By What I Produce (Apple / Spotify)

  21. The Art of the Meta-Conversation (Apple / Spotify)

  22. “There I Go Again” (Apple / Spotify)

  23. Humiliation Comes Before Humility (Apple / Spotify)

  24. The Freedom Fantasy (Apple / Spotify)

  25. This is Your Damn Life (Apple / Spotify)

  26. Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Parts Work: Your Internal Board of Directors (Apple / Spotify)

  27. A Monk in NYC: Demystifying the Monastery (Apple / Spotify)

  28. Safe vs. Quality Problems (Apple / Spotify)

  29. The Two Sides of Working on Yourself  (Apple / Spotify)

  30. The Four Listening Channels and the Power of Curiosity (Apple / Spotify)

  31. The Rules that Rule Us (Apple / Spotify)

  32. The Power of Powerful Questions (Apple / Spotify)

  33. Anger Management (Apple / Spotify)

  34. I Dislike In You What I Dislike in Me (Apple / Spotify)

  35. Our Need for Validation and Why We Don’t Like To Need It (Apple / Spotify)

  36. An Existential Crisis is an Opportunity for Growth (Apple / Spotify)

  37. The Four Levels of Motivation (Apple / Spotify)

  38. Finding the Bait of the Inner Critic (Apple / Spotify)

  39. Everyone Is My Teacher (Apple / Spotify)

  40. The Cost of Cutting Corners (Apple / Spotify)

  41. Gossip: The Temptation and Tolls (Apple / Spotify)

  42. Tolerating Provoking Situations (Apple / Spotify)

  43. Under the Influence of Lust (Apple / Spotify)

  44. Nonviolent Communication #1: Needs vs. Strategies (Apple / Spotify)

  45. Nonviolent Communication #2: The Connection Between Needs And Feelings (Apple / Spotify)

  46. Nonviolent Communication #3: O-F-N-R (Observation, Feeling, Need, Request) (Apple / Spotify)

  47. Nonviolent Communication #4. Reconciling Our Infinite Longings With Our Finite Capacity, Spirituality, and The Limits of the NVC Framework (Apple / Spotify)

  48. Unlocking Growth Through 360 Degree Reviews and the Delicate Dance With Feedback (Apple / Spotify)

  49. Atomic Habits and Using Identities to Help Us With Our Habits (Apple / Spotify)

  50. Where Do You Put Your Faith (Apple / Spotify)

  51. Comfort, Stretch, and Panic Zones: Where Do You Reside? (Apple / Spotify)

  52. Pinch Moments: A Tool to Restore Communication (and Relationships!) (Apple / Spotify)

  53. Designing Relationships Intentionally (Apple / Spotify)

  54. Contemplating Death to Live a Good Life (Apple / Spotify)

  55. The Misunderstanding of Love (Apple / Spotify)

  56. Meditation: Transforming The Mind From Worst Enemy To Best Friend (Apple / Spotify)

    • Meditation #1: Guided Meditation To Become Present and Grounded (Apple / Spotify)

    • Meditation #2: Mantra Meditation (Apple / Spotify)

  57. Saying the “Right” Thing vs What We Actually Feel (Apple / Spotify)

  58. Our Complicated Relationship with Accountability (Apple / Spotify)

  59. Learning to Carry Our Shame and What’s At Stake If We Don’t (Apple / Spotify)

  60. Trading Derivatives and the Shame-Based Fear of Being Ordinary (Apple / Spotify)

  61. Time Management Is Chaos Management, and Upbuild's Tips and Tricks for Productivity (Apple / Spotify)

  62. Can I Be Successful If I Give Up My Ego? (Apple / Spotify)

  63. Effective One-On-One Meetings: From Transactional to Transformative (Apple / Spotify)

  64. Moral Superiority: The Cost of Needing to Be “Better” Than Others (Apple / Spotify)

  65. What To Do With Guilt (Apple / Spotify)

  66. How to Take a Compliment (Apple / Spotify)

  67. Coaching vs. Therapy, The Tension Between Ego and Success, and Spirituality in Coaching—Michael Sloyer on the Lovelink Podcast (Apple / Spotify)

  68. What If I’m Not Fulfilled At Work? (Apple / Spotify)

  69. Blame: Our Addiction To It and What To Do Instead (Apple / Spotify)

  70. Why Feedback Fails…and How to Make It Work (Apple / Spotify)

  71. Is Compartmentalization Really a Good Thing? (Apple / Spotify)

  72. Self-Preservation, Sexual, or Social: Which Instinct Drives You? Unlocking a Key Piece of the Personality Puzzle Through the Enneagram (Apple / Spotify)

  73. [Part 1] Book Distribution: Timeless Lessons Learned By Two Monks on the Streets and Subways of New York City, Part 1 (Apple / Spotify)

  74. [Part 2] Book Distribution: Timeless Lessons Learned By Two Monks on the Streets and Subways of New York City (Apple / Spotify)

  75. The Ego Trap of Parenting (Apple / Spotify)

We have a few exciting courses and workshops coming up:

  • The Call to Awaken: Our flagship spiritual course for those seeking answers to the deep questions of life and wanting to be spiritual practitioners in our modern society.

  • Upbuild Coaching Training: Six-month coaching certification program.

  • Upbuild Enneagram Library Live: Bi-weekly deep conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly.

  • Enneagram Workshop: Two-day workshop on the foundations of the Enneagram. Discover your Type, become aware of blind spots, and understand your motivations and insecurities more deeply.  

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A note on why we started this podcast: We've found that the most transformative principle in our lives has been what's called sanga in yoga philosophy. That is the company we keep. The quality and content of our connection to people who want the best for us and are working on themselves to become their best. The rising tide floats all boats. This podcast is our sincere attempt to create sanga with like-minded people around the world so that we can all keep working on ourselves and inspire one another as we progress in our lives.