The Bhagavad-Gita, the sacred text on which our mission centers, teaches us that when we are not conscious of the coverings of our real selves, we harbor limitless desires that drive our self-obsessed ego behavior and lead us away from the self, making everyone else the object to fulfill our desires. If it sounds bleak, it’s because it is. When we are not individually and collectively trying to become the real self, we get a world that looks like the current one of lust, greed, corruption, frustration, anger, injustice, violence, and devastation. We all contribute to this awful picture of objectification according to our degree of ego identification. But unless we’re one of the rare souls dedicated to the path of spiritual awakening, we’re all steeped in the ego charade, woefully far away from the true self. The question is: Can you see it?

Dear Upbuild Community,

Another year gone like lightning! Unspoken and unadmitted, even to myself, I always thought that when you grow up to be a whole 20 years old, you probably stay there something like forever, until you become 30…then you probably stay there something like forever, until you turn 40…and so on. This year I reached that 40 mark, and in case I needed any further confirmation, I can now see very clearly: It’s not like that!

Are you seeking shelter or are you seeking relief? We all must face our share of stress, pain, and fear. There are enough challenges to life without the fact that we will end up losing all whom we care about as well as our own bodies and minds. We won't be able to take anything with us when we die. How we deal with that reality determines the quality of our lives as well as the quality of our deaths.

Dear Upbuild Community,

Another whirlwind year has gone by. There are many things to celebrate and many things to mourn, as always. I try to be daily in touch with the bigger picture which helps a lot, but at this time of year especially, I become contemplative about where I’m at in life. How am I doing? What have I learned? Where do I need to go from here?

There are two aspects of us that we can work on if we want to effectively uncover our best self:

1. The Ego – who we think we should be

2. The Soul – who we are (our spiritual core)

When we work on both, we do so from opposing angles, but both are absolutely essential. In fact, you cannot uncover your best self without this dual approach. We can only arrive at our self and inhabit our self fully by coming at it from both sides. That means having the courage to find and follow our spiritual inclination while working on our shadows.

We’ll see that the self naturally feels intangible to us, perhaps even fanciful, buried under all the layers of ego.

“If anyone else spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, you’d punch that person in the face…” says our teacher at the Enneagram Institute, Russ Hudson. Why are we so hard on ourselves? What is the consequence? And what do we do about it?

I regularly coach clients who wonder about these questions and look for guidance on how to handle the tyrannical internal reign of the Inner Critic. I suffer from the same affliction and questions as they do. It’s an ongoing struggle, but it does get better if we invest the time and energy into understanding what’s actually happening and where our power lies to change things.

“Be here now.” The ultimate mindfulness mantra.

In mindfulness, we’re commonly taught to ignore the past, ignore the future, and just focus on the present. Focus on the breath, or the amazing view of the sea, or the sand beneath your toes, and everything will be fine.

Maybe it will feel fine at that moment, but we are missing the larger reality.

My Dear Upbuild Community,

I wrote to you last year that my focused endeavor would be to let go of the results in life, just as Krsna instructs Arjuna to do in the landmark sacred text, The Bhagavad-Gita. That has been a phenomenal challenge. With so many ups and downs, progress on the path looks more to me like the spastic upward curve of a seismograph than a simple straight line to perfection.

In spite of the difficulties, I know this process of ‘let go and let God’ works. And there have been many indicators that encourage me to move forward. I regularly have moments where I think this is divine magic and that a benevolent force is looking out for me. I regularly gain crucial realizations that I cherish. I regularly gain blessings that I can feel are powering me. And I regularly have the opportunity to serve others in deeply meaningful ways that are beyond me. So in looking back at another chaotic year, for the world, and for this Hari Prasada, I want to focus on one jewel (with four faces) to carry forward into the new chapters ahead.

Who remembers that cartoon on USA Network with a very cranky duck detective as its lead character? The one and only Duckman (voiced by Jason Alexander). It ran from 1994 to 1997 at 10 p.m. Eastern Time, and I used to watch it religiously. Why I was so into it, I can’t really tell you, but at the time, I found it quite fascinating. And of all the innumerable episodes of Duckman that I watched, there is only one that I still remember to this day. And within that one episode, there is only one moment that remains with me presently: Duckman’s meeting with God…

There’s a question we all carry with us unconsciously, moment to moment, and which we sometimes bring to consciousness: What is the meaning of life??

For most of us, it’s rare to speak about it at all, and for many of us, rare to even think about it, but it’s lodged in us…deeply.

A common reason we don’t think or speak about it is because we’re too busy and there are many “more pressing” or “more practical” considerations. Another is that we think it’s unanswerable. Yet a third is that we think it’s obvious: Life is what you make of it.

I have this pact with myself since I was a small boy that I will live my entire life with no regrets. Do you also share this desire with me? I don’t know anyone who takes the contrary approach and wants to live a life with lots of regrets! I don’t know anyone who desires a single regret at all. But for me, this is serious business.

How am I doing on this, you might ask? Well, it’s a bit complex. To arrive at the outcome of a life with no regrets — it’s a journey, and a circuitous one. Let me start with what prompted me to write this piece, and we can use that concrete example as a thread for a better understanding of a life without regret.

I recently lost an old friend who was a very lovable, innocent little brother to me when we were monks together nearly a decade ago. I helped train him and felt a deep, lasting, affectionate connection with him.