UPBUILDING THE SELF

Self-Preservation, Sexual, or Social: Which Instinct Drives You? Unlocking a Key Piece of the Personality Puzzle Through the Enneagram

Each of us is wired with a specific hierarchy of three core instinctual drives, shaping how we move through the world. The Instincts (sometimes referred to as Instinctual Variants) is part of the Enneagram framework and plays a powerful role in how our personalities form. One Instinct tends to dominate and demands most of our attention, a second supports it, while a third gets neglected and becomes a blind spot. In this episode, Michael, Hari, and Rasanath unpack the three Instincts—Sexual, Social, and Self-Preservation—and how they show up in our daily lives. They explore the energy behind each, how these Instincts function at their healthiest, and how they can create suffering. By understanding your “Instinctual Stack,” you can begin to shift from automatic patterns to conscious integration, creating space for real growth and movement toward the best version of yourself.

Podcast Hosts: Michael, Hari Prasada and Rasanath

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your preferred podcast platform

Highlights

  • [01:35] What are the Instincts?

  • [04:10] The three Instincts: Self-Preservation, Sexual, and Social

  • [06:00] The Instinctual Stack: Dominant, Secondary, and Blind Spot

  • [14:00] The Self-Preservation Instinct, including the chief complaint

  • [22:35] The Sexual Instinct, including the chief complaint

  • [38:10] The Social Instinct, including the chief complaint

  • [47:40] What are the differences among Type 3s with different Dominant Instincts

  • [50:15] Blind Spots

  • [69:10] The dangers of an imbalanced Instinctual Stack

Quotes

  • “[As our teacher Russ shares], more conflict arises between people of different Instincts than people of different [Enneagram] Types.” - Hari Prasada

  • “Instincts are essentially an impulse. It is the way we express ourselves almost instantaneously with any stimulus that comes from the outside.” - Rasanath

  • “The personality puzzle is very incomplete [without the Instincts]. If we want self-knowledge, self-understanding, self-empathy, self-acceptance, and the ability to understand, empathize with, and accept others [to] best serve them, this is a huge reveal.” - Hari Prasada

  • “We get into trouble primarily by over-exercizing the Dominant Instinct in our Stack, and then by neglecting the Tertiary, the Blind Spot. So we want to bring these instincts more into balance, understanding what they are, what our inherent prioritization of them is, and how to best leverage each of them, which are accessible to all of us.” - Hari Prasada

  • “The goal is not to live like animals and to use our Instincts like animals. We want to use these Instincts to elevate our consciousness.” - Hari Prasada

For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self

About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.

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