Most of us are wearing masks all the time. We are wearing ego masks that cover who we are so we can prove that we are worthy, that we are enough, and that we have a place in this world. Although these masks help protect us and help us garner appreciation, they also keep us locked up in a prison. They obstruct our satisfaction with life and prevent us from being truly connected with ourselves and with one another. In this episode of Upbuilding the Self, Rasanath interviews Hari Prasada about his inspiration for his article, “A World Without Masks.” Hari Prasada shares the definition of an ego mask, how suffering is created when we wear our masks, and the most important step we can take to start removing our masks in order to live a life with more freedom and connection.

Podcast Hosts: Rasanath Das and Hari Prasada Das

Highlights

• [1:55] Hari Prasada’s experience in the film world that first drew him to the idea of masks

• [3:50] We are all wearing masks all the time and the definition of an ego mask

• [5:50] The message from Søren Kierkegaard’s The Sickness Unto Death that we are all feeling despair

• [8:15] Contemplating the question, “Are you really happy?”

• [9:10] The suffering we feel from being on a never-ending treadmill

• [12:00] Ambition from a calling vs. ambition that leads to suffering

• [14:50] Mother Teresa’s perspective that there is more poverty in the West than in India because of the poverty of love and the poverty of being removed from the real self

• [16:05] The anger that we feel in romantic relationships when we are not seen the way we want to be seen

• [16:55] The impact of wearing masks at work: distrust, lack of inspiration, conflict, tension, and inefficiency

• [18:00] The positive functions of the mask: to protect us from being exploited and to garner appreciation

• [18:15] Google’s research study that concluded that psychological safety is the most important quality of high functioning teams

• [23:40] How events like the death of a loved one or an existential crisis can wake us up to the fragility of our own masks

• [26:10] If you think you’re self-aware, you’re not

• [27:10] What happens when our spouse doesn’t notice when we clean the bathroom

• [29:20] How to make the idea of the “true self” more tangible and how to take one small step towards taking off our mask

Quotes

• “We are all wearing masks all of the time. We are afraid to show our face.” - Hari Prasada

• “If we want to remove our masks, we first have to see them.” - Hari Prasada

• “We fear, ‘Would you still love me if I showed you who I really am?’”- Hari Prasada

• “When the drive gets directed toward further fortifying the ego and the masks, that just prolongs the suffering.” - Rasanath

• “It is a peaceful and exciting experience when we do not need to be something, when we don’t need to project something, and when we don’t need to prove something.” - Hari Prasada