UPBUILDING THE SELF

Nonviolent Communication:

The Connection Between

Needs and Feelings

In the second episode of our Nonviolent Communication miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada and Rasanath take a deep dive into the incredibly tight connection between needs and feelings, exploring how the nuances of these terms affect our conversations and interactions. They reveal how our needs are connected to feelings, how many of us mistakenly use the word “feeling,” and the importance of seeking understanding. They also discuss how acknowledging our feelings and unmet needs can open up a path to self-awareness and compassion for others.

Podcast Hosts: Michael, Hari Prasada and Rasanath

Highlights

  • [1:30] Introduction to the teaching of needs and feelings

  • [4:09] What’s the feeling? What’s the need?

  • [7:00] A coaching example with the NVC framework

  • [8:40] The importance of identifying a feeling

  • [13:20] Should we be vulnerable all the time?

  • [16:30] The strategy of being vulnerable

  • [17:40] Doing this work with ourselves

  • [19:10] Seeking understanding

  • [20:50] Hari Prasada’s example of needs connected to emotions

  • [24:40] “Strategizing mode”

  • [29:00] Making a practice out of self-connection

Quotes

  • “There is always a need behind every feeling.” -Hari Prasada

  • “Your needs are yours and nobody is responsible for meeting those needs.” -Rasanath

  • “We are vulnerable because we have needs” -Rasanath

  • “The intensity with which we seek understanding is what gets in the way of receiving it.” -Rasanath

  • “Real work has no shortcuts.” -Rasanath

For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self

About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.