UPBUILDING THE SELF

Why Feedback Fails…and How to Make It Work

Most of us are terrible at feedback. It’s awkward, forced, or worse, completely ineffective. In this episode, Michael, Hari, and Vipin break down why that is and how to fix it. They draw from their own journeys at places like McKinsey, MTV, Goldman Sachs, and Upbuild to show how feedback can be an act of ego…or a gateway to growth, trust, and real connection. They unpack what makes feedback land (or fall flat), why intention matters more than anything else, and how to make feedback human again.

Podcast Hosts: Michael, Hari Prasada and Vipin

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your preferred podcast platform

Highlights

  • [01:00] Why feedback is so critical

  • [05:10] Feedback cultures at McKinsey, MTV and Upbuild

  • [11:30] How obligatory feedback can undermine trust

  • [13:10] The impact of blame in feedback

  • [16:40] The influence of the ego in the feedback giver

  • [18:30] Connection as one of the goals

  • [26:40] Building genuine care in relationships

  • [28:00] The misconception of efficiency

  • [29:50] The impact of transactional feedback

  • [32:00] The Humane Feedback System

  • [37:30] The influence of the ego in the feedback giver

  • [42:50] The cost of a poor feedback culture

  • [45:00] The importance of guidance

Quotes

  • “Without feedback, we won't know what we're missing and we won't have any kind of roadmap. Even our goals change, our trajectory, our destination changes according to feedback.” - Hari Prasada

  • “The percentage of responsibility on one side or the other is dependent on the purity of consciousness. When there's a completely sincere intent as a receiver and as a giver…amazing things happen.” - Hari Prasada

  • “When there's a genuine well wisher on the other side and you feel their care and their intent, there's connection. And that can be enhanced even in situations when there is difficult feedback.” - Vipin

  • “The cost of continuing on a path of…transactional feedback that is disconnected and coming from an egoic place is that you have a lot of demotivated, disengaged people. You have lower trust relationships. You have lower self-awareness. And you have a flatter trajectory of growth.” - Vipin

For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self

About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.

We also have three upcoming programs. Please reserve your spot ASAP.