The Inner Critic

At Upbuild, we define the Inner Critic as the mouthpiece of the ego. It is the voice that tells us we should be more, that we should have done better, or that we are falling short. It can sound motivating, but its real purpose is to keep us locked in a false identity of who we think we should be.

For coaches, it is essential to remember that the Inner Critic is not the real self. When a client is caught in harsh self-judgment or trying to secure self-worth through external achievement, it is not their true self speaking. It is the ego through the voice of the Inner Critic.

Seeing this voice clearly can be a turning point in coaching. Our role is to help clients recognize it with honesty and compassion. When they stop treating the Critic as the truth, they begin to create space for something more authentic and more sustaining.

The Inner Critic is not always loud. Sometimes it shows up as quiet self-doubt or even a kind of false humility. A client who constantly minimizes their worth or feels they are never enough may appear modest, but that too can be the ego in disguise. As Hari Prasada often says, “The inferiority complex is just the flip side of a superiority complex.”

Hari offers a simple four-step process for beginning to work with the Inner Critic and the ego more broadly:

1. Call yourself out. Gently but honestly recognize when the Inner Critic is active.

2. Try not to play into it. Pause before acting from that voice, even if it feels familiar or automatic.

3. Take responsibility when you do. If you give in to the Inner Critic, own it and be honest with yourself (and possibly others) about the impact.

4. Seek guidance. This work is difficult. We need support from people who are further steeped in the work than we are.

Coaching application. In an upcoming session, listen for the voice of the Inner Critic in your client. Gently reflect back what you are hearing and ask, “What part of you is speaking right now?” or “What would a more aware version of yourself say in response to that voice?”

Life application. Think of a situation in your life where the Inner Critic is wreaking havoc. Use the 4-step process outlined above. 

Relevant Upbuild content: [Podcast] Finding the Bait of the Inner Critic (Apple / Spotify)