Upbuild Coaching Bits: Other-Focused Listening

Other-focused listening is one of the four listening channels. It includes listening to the content, word choice, body language, mannerisms, pace, volume, and tone of the other person. You are also listening for what they are not saying. 

Other-focused listening helps you get clarity about what is most important to someone and if there might be something that is being communicated other than what is being said. In coaching, conscious and empathic other-focused listening can help bring greater self-awareness for your client and help them feel seen and understood. At Upbuild, we define coaching as “serving as a human mirror,” and to be able to do that, other-focused listening is crucial. 

Examples of other-focused listening:

• Hearing the words of someone’s story, and listening for their underlying desires 

• Listening for what has heart and meaning

• Noticing the person’s excitement as their voice gets louder and as they shift their posture

• Hearing the change in emotions

Coaching application: In an upcoming session, while tuning into the other-focused listening channel, verbally acknowledge at least one of the following to your client about your client… 

• A shift in energy

• A physical gesture or mannerism

• One thing that has heart and meaning for your client

Life application: In an upcoming conversation with a friend, colleague, or family member, practice listening exclusively to the other-focused listening channel and notice…

• What really matters to the person about what they are saying

• Any shifts in energy

• What the person is communicating beyond what they are saying with their words

Relevant Upbuild content:

• [Podcast] The Four Listening Channels and the Power of Curiosity (Apple / Spotify)

• [Podcast] Tolerating Provoking Situations (Apple / Spotify)

• [Article] Tolerating Provoking Situations